Technically, it’s Saturday now, but I had this thought yesterday at NewSpring’s first Good Friday service ever . . . . It was a very different kind of service for NewSpring. Usually we’re pretty excited and wild and loud and crazy; it’s a lot of fun. But this service was very somber. Solemn. Dark. Sad. It was a wonderful representation of how people must have felt when Jesus died.
As the service progressed and we sang and listened to the last words Jesus spoke before He died, I was overwhelmed with the realization that even if it had just been me, He would have done it all again. He died–suffered the way He did–for the whole world, but it was personal. He did it for me. Because of me. I can’t help but wonder why when I think about how I’ve thanked Him for His sacrifice.
What stuns me into shocked silence is remembering that He knew I would betray Him. That He knew I would disappoint Him and let Him down and break His heart . . . again and again and again . . . Even before He saved me, Jesus knew I would fail Him. But even then He chose to never fail me.
I don’t understand love like that. I mean, a part of me does. I guess. I have many friends I know who have disappointed me time and time again but I’ve never given up on them–mainly because Jesus never gives up on me. I would still gladly give up my life for any one of my friends. So maybe I do understand to a certain extent. What I really don’t get is why Christ could love me so much, when I know I don’t deserve it. When He knows I don’t deserve it.
Love like that makes me tremble inside with tears I don’t dare let out becuase they won’t ever stop. Knowing that He loves me even though He knows I’m still going to screw up and that He’ll forgive me even then. Knowing that no matter what I do or where I go, He’ll never forget me or leave me alone. Knowing that no matter how much I disappoint Him, He’ll always be there for me. That kind of safety and security is more than comfort. It’s everything. How could I live without it? How could I make it through a day without knowing that He’s there, listening to me, laughing with me (and probably at me), loving me so intensely?
I’m thankful. So thankful.
Last night was wonderful to sit in a room of over a thousand of my brothers and sisters and remember Christ’s death. But I’m very excited for tonight and tomorrow when I’ll join them all again to celebrate the fact that Christ didn’t stay dead. That’s what Easter is all about. Not a shared spirit of humanity . . . . I saw that on a news blurb this morning. Not bunnies or candies or baskets left on doorsteps. Easter is hope, knowing that this crazy life isn’t all there is, that there’s something bigger and better coming and that we can be a part of it.
I have to say, if you want to see a party . . . . click on this link at 5:00 pm or 6:30 pm today . . . . or at 9:30 am or 11:15 am tomorrow. You want to know what Easter is all about? Click.