Loving by example

How much do you love others? Would you be willing to die for someone you loved, to sacrifice your hopes and your dreams so that someone else can achieve theirs? Many people say they’re willing to die for someone else, but do they really mean it? I don’t know, and that’s between them and the person they say they love.

What I do know, though, is that love is a quality not many people truly understand. If we’re going to love anyone else, we really need an example of how to do it. That’s one of the myriad reasons we have Christ.

 

Rose in the Rose Garden at Glen Eyrie, Colorado Springs, CO

Today’s verse is Ephesians 5:2.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Love takes sacrifice; love is sacrifice. And just the fact that love requires so much from us means it will never ever be easy. If love for someone has ever come easy, you just don’t know them well enough yet. Even if you are the most loving, forgiving, patient person in the universe, someone else will eventually get on your nerves. Know why?

You’re not perfect. No one is. Not the person typing this blog this chilly Thursday morning and not the person you’re currently frustrated with at home, at school or at work.

So how do we handle it? Well, we should handle imperfect people the same way we do with every step along the path of following Christ. We choose to do what Christ did. Love others in spite of what they’ve done or said to us; love others in spite of what we want.

If you believe in Christ, you’ve committed to following Him. That means He becomes your example for how to live. And Christ loved us so much He was willing to die for us.

So does that mean we need to rush out and look for someone to sacrifice ourselves for? No. Not so much. But when was the last time you inconvenienced yourself for someone else? When was the last time you gave up your plans to help someone else? When was the last time you bought groceries for someone who couldn’t afford them even if you weren’t sure you could afford your own groceries? You get the idea.

It’s okay to get frustrated with people, but kind of like despair, it’s not okay to stay there. Don’t stay frustrated. Forgive them and love them, and the best way to do that is to do something kind for them. And if you can’t do something kind for them (for realistic reasons), pray for them. It’s hard to be frustrated with someone you’re praying for.

But if you’re going to sacrifice for someone, make sure that sacrifice comes from love and not fear. It’s strange how love and fear can sometimes share similar qualities. If you’re sacrificing because you’re afraid that someone else will reject you or because you’re afraid that you won’t measure up otherwise, that’s not love. Love is never motivated by performance; yes, performance encourages love and it demonstrates love. But real love shouldn’t hinge on how you act or what you do. So judge the motivation of your sacrifice. If you’re giving away everything you have because you’re afraid of what people think, that’s not love. If you’re giving away everything you have in spite of what people think, that’s a different story.

Loving like Jesus when it doesn’t make sense

Christians are supposed to live the way Jesus did. Every “good” Christian knows that. Actually, every “bad” Christian knows it too. So why is it so hard to accomplish? Well, yes, Jesus was perfect. But there is nothing that we have experienced in our lives that He doesn’t understand.

I think we get caught up this time of year remembering Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, which is a good thing to remember. It’s everything. If Christ hadn’t come and allowed Himself to suffer for our sins, we would have no hope. If He hadn’t died and risen again, He would be like any other world religious leader. But so many times I think we focus on the fact that He is God that we forget that He was a human being just like we are. And He didn’t just come to die and rise again; He came to show us how to live.

Setting sun at Safe Haven Farm - Haven, KS

Today’s verse is Ephesians 5:2.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Living a life of love is a lot easier said than done. Loving unlovable people takes some sacrifice, if we’re being honest about it. It’s a lot more convenient to just ignore them, but that’s not what Christ did.

He loved unlovable people. He forgave unforgivable people. He healed incurable people. If anyone was a lost cause, Christ gave them a reason to live and a purpose. He worked more than just physical miracles; He changed people. He still changes people today.

Granted, He didn’t waste much time on fools. And He didn’t concern Himself with the religious leaders who were already sufficient in their own righteousness. But the people who knew they needed help? They flocked to Him by the thousands, and He never turned anyone away.

So how does that example affect my life? How do I live the way Christ did? How do I love the way Christ does?

Jesus doesn’t discriminate. He loves everybody. It doesn’t matter where people came from. Even when Jesus was on earth, He healed everyone, regardless of nationality or race. Or even religious persuasion, if you think about it. Jew. Gentile. Neither. If they came to Him and they believed in Him, He helped them. Whether they were difficult people or kind people, quiet people or loud people, talented people or not-so-talented people, it didn’t matter.

It’s so easy to put labels on people. It’s comforting to be able to categorize others so that I know how to control them or how to handle them, but labels don’t really help. Putting labels on people puts them in a box that I don’t ever let them out of. Jesus didn’t label people. He loved them.

Jesus wasn’t afraid to live for people He loved. Jesus came to die, yes, but He also came to show us how to live. He sacrificed years of His life in service of people around Him.

Many of us are willing to die for the people we love because we know that we’ll go to heaven when we die, but what about living for people you love? That’s a bigger sacrifice. Because you have to give up what you want out of life to live for other people. And that’s difficult.

In our culture today, love is a cheerful happy feeling that swells in response to happiness. But that’s not love. Love is a choice. Love is action. Love is sacrificing yourself–your finances, your future, your job, your wellbeing–for the sake of someone else. And in our self-centered world, love is difficult to find.

Love isn’t easy. And real love is even harder. Jesus is the only one who had it figured out, and I’m thankful for that because as much as I try, I’m not there yet. I’m still pretty selfish myself.

But the only way to please God is with faith. And faith means taking God at His word. So if God says that I’m supposed to love people the way Jesus did, that means I should choose to do it even if it doesn’t make sense, even when it’s difficult.

That’s what Christ did. So that’s what we’re supposed to do. It’s never easy, and it doesn’t always feel good. And anyone who tells you differently hasn’t ever tried it. But nothing worth having was easy to obtain. And God’s got it under control. God knows what He’s doing, He never makes mistakes, and He always keeps His promises.