Give God time to keep His promise

I try to control too many things. But I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember, so I’m not entirely sure when it started. I just have this driving urge to keep a handle on life so it won’t get away from me. Which is ridiculous, as any self-respecting Christ-follower knows (Luke 17:33). But, hey, I’m being honest here.

I try to control the silliest things too. When I go grocery shopping, I try to think of everything I need for about a month. Grocery stores aren’t exactly convenient to where I live, so it’s easier to make one big trip. But that means I have to plan ahead. That means I have to make meal plans. That means designing several different meals all at once and hoping that life doesn’t go crazy between shopping trips.

The trouble is, life always goes crazy. Life always screws up my plans, and usually I’m left with expired produce, questionable meat, or stale crackers. And none of that would have happened if I’d planned a week in advance rather than a month.

I’m not saying don’t plan. But what I am saying is don’t rush ahead too far, because you never know what curve balls are going to come at you.

Life will take crazy twists and turns. God will lead you down paths you never dreamed possible. He may take you down roads you never even thought you wanted to go down, and somewhere along the way you’ll realize you never belonged anywhere else. But that’s all part of His promise (Psalm 37:4). And God can be trusted to keep His promises (Hebrews 10:23).

But that means we have to wait.

I hate waiting. Maybe you didn’t know that about me. Unlikely if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time. Waiting is my least favorite thing.

At least, it used to be. God has been working on my old stubborn Scottish heart this past year, and I’ve begun to see the joy we can have when we release the things that scare us and trust God completely.

I had to go there several times in 2016. More than once, I had to pry my own hands off of my life and hand it over to God. And then I had to sit and wait and trust and pray, and that was literally all I could do.

No, I should clarify. It was all I did, but I could have done several other things.

I could have gone back to the corporate world and asked for my job back. I could have gone to my many loving and supportive friends and asked for a loan, just big enough so that I could afford groceries for the next month. I could have gone to a pawn shop and sold anything I had of value (I’m not joking, the thought did occur to me).

I could have done any of those things, but one question kept hovering at the back of my mind: “Do you trust God or not?”

I told Him at the beginning of this journey that I wanted to rely on faith rather than finances. I told Him I didn’t care what was coming, that I wanted to place my trust and my life and my future entirely in His hands. And if this was the life I was supposed to be living, I needed Him to provide for me, and if it wasn’t, I needed Him to stop.

Good gracious, friends, be careful what you ask for. Because God will hold you to declarations like that.

A few times throughout last year I thought God had stopped providing, but that was because I was planning too far ahead. So I started looking at life differently. I woke up every morning and thanked God for what I had that day, because every day I had what I needed for that day. And when tomorrow arrived, I would have what I needed then. God just wouldn’t always let me know ahead of time.

That is the recurring tale of my 2016. Until the end of December when God opened his storehouses and poured some major blessings on my silly head—blessings enough to provide over and above what I had expected for 2017.

While part of me is concerned He’s providing this much this quickly and telling me about it, the louder part of me is simply choosing to be thankful. I don’t want to forget what He’s taught me this year. Even if I have enough for months and months, it could still all be lost in an instant.

God has to be enough. Just God. Not money. Not possessions. Not power or influence or book sales or car maintenance or health insurance. All those things are wonderful blessings, but God is enough for me. He’s enough to provide what I need when I need it, and He doesn’t have to tell me what He’s doing or when He’s doing it. He’s God. He’s got a plan. He’s working everything out for my good. (Romans 8:28)

My part in this story is to be still. To trust. To wait. My responsibility is to give God time to keep the promises He’s made me, because He will. He always has, and He always blows me away with His goodness and generosity.

Are you trying to control your life? What about your finances or your health or people in your life? You can’t. You need to let go and give it to God and trust that He will work things out. And once you do that, you need to wait.

Even if it feels like you’re standing still. Even if it feels like you’re wasting time. Even when it feels like you should be doing something—anything. Just wait.

You’ll see the door when He opens it. There won’t be any doubt in your mind.

Lion at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

We never outgrow God

Do you have deep friendships? Not just casual acquaintances–but real, deep, heart-felt friendships. I’m so fortunate to have so many people in my life who I can call friends–more than friends, family. And it’s been that way for decades–the same people. How many people can say that?

Last night, two of my oldest, dearest friends came out to visit me and my roomie, and as we sat on my rickety old couch and munched on tacos and watched Doctor Who, I couldn’t help but remember a time more than 20 years ago when the four of us sat around on the floor, playing games and dreaming about the future.

As I marveled, I realized we haven’t run out of things to talk about yet. If anything, we’ve got more to talk about now than we did when we were in third grade.

As we’ve grown as individuals, we’ve grown as friends. Our relationships with each other have grown wider and deeper and stronger, to the point that even years of separation or thousands of miles of distance can’t put a dent in our friendship. We just pick up where we left off. And if human beings can have relationships like that, why do we think that God is any different?

Lion at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

Lion at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

Today’s verses are Psalm 139:7-12.

I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
    but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

I decided to believe in Jesus when I was seven years old on Palm Sunday in 1990. Granted, that’s the day I remember stepping out of my pew and walking the aisle, but Jesus was a part of my life every day before then. I’ve been following Jesus for a long time, though I’m not sure I really began to live for Him until I was older. But I never doubted Him. And I never stopped talking to Him.

We’ve always had a fairly casual talking relationship, me and Jesus. I just tell Him everything that’s on my mind. And what amazes me is that I’ve never encountered a problem in life that He wasn’t big enough to handle.

Not anything has been bigger than Him. When I was little, that was expected. Everything was bigger than me. But as a grown up, you’d think I run into trouble every day that would stump Him. But it doesn’t. And it’s not that God has gotten any bigger. Just my understanding of what He is capable of and how much He’s done for me.

Like my friendships, which have grown deeper and stronger and have matured as I have, my relationship with God has grown too. Or maybe it would be better said that He’s stayed the same and I’ve just come to realize how enormous He is.

One of my favorite parts of C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia is the brief interaction Aslan the Lion, the picture of Christ, has with Lucy Pevensie in Prince Caspian.

“Aslan” said Lucy “you’re bigger”.
“That is because you are older, little one” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger”.
~ C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

I could put myself in Lucy’s shoes there. Every year, I grow older, and my troubles get bigger and more complex as the digits in my age continue to tick upward. I didn’t really appreciate this little scene between Aslan and Lucy until I was old enough to understand how true it is.

I’ll never outgrow Him. I’ll never reach the point where I can do life on my own. I’ll never reach the point where I don’t need Him every second of every day. Life is too big for me, but it’s not too big for Him. And with Him, there’s nothing I can’t do.

And just like my earthly friends, I never run out of things to tell Him. I never run out of conversations to have with Him. I never exhaust myself telling Him how wonderful He is and how thankful I am for all He’s done for me.

No matter where I go, He’s there. No  matter how fast I run, He runs faster. No matter how much I think I know, He knows more. There’s no place I can go to escape Him (as if I wanted to), because He’s everywhere. And there’s no level of wisdom I can attain that He hasn’t already mastered.

Are you a grown up? Think you’ve got life all figured out? Well, join the club. And realize, like the rest of us, that life is so much bigger and stranger and wilder than you can ever imagine, and there’s no way you can be prepared for every eventuality. The only way you’ll make it is to have someone bigger than you to rely on when the time comes.