A gorilla in the sun at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

Being bullied is a privilege

The world is full of bullies. If you don’t encounter them every day, I’m sure you know someone who does. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes too. They aren’t just thugs who are after your lunch money anymore. A bully is anyone who uses any kind of intimidation to get what he or she wants. They are in offices and homes and on the street, and they aren’t always physical. Bullies can be passive aggressive too.

So how do you handle bullies when you’re a grown up? If you’re a kid, you’re supposed to be able to go to an authority. But as an adult, sometimes your authority is the bully. What do you do in that case?

A gorilla in the sun at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

A gorilla in the sun at the Sedgwick County Zoo, Wichita, KS

Today’s verses are Philippians 1:28-29.

Don’t be intimidated in any way by your enemies. This will be a sign to them that they are going to be destroyed, but that you are going to be saved, even by God himself. For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him.

The Bible says over and over again that we shouldn’t repay evil for evil, that vengeance belongs to God and not to us. And that’s a tall order, especially if I know a bully is involved and he or she has hurt someone I love. But as followers of Christ, we are commanded to love and forgive people who hurt us, but for a bully, that is just a signal to them that you’ll roll over and take the abuse.

So when I encounter a verse like this that says not to be intimidated in any way, I want to know how that’s going to work. Because it’s easy to say that you won’t be intimidated by someone who’s out to get you, but when you’re face to face with them, and their sole purpose is to frighten you or upset you, they’re probably going to get their way.

I really think it comes down to a choice. You can choose to be intimidated or not. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s true. You don’t have to cower or shrink away when a bully is trying to beat you down. You don’t have to fight back either. You can just calmly stand your ground. That’s a choice you can make, and a bully isn’t going to understand it.

You can make that choice because of what the rest of today’s verses tell us. You don’t have to be intimidated because God is behind you, and He’s watching the whole thing. He knows who is in the right. He knows who the aggressor is, and He won’t sit back and let one of His children be mistreated.

If you have the strength to calmly, lovingly stand your ground in the face of intimidation, eventually that person coming after you will get the picture. You won’t break down because you’re relying on Someone stronger, and that Someone will eventually get involved and set things right.

So where do you find the strength to stand up when a bully just wants to beat you down? Look at the second verse listed. You’ve been given the privilege of suffering for Christ.

Suffering for Christ is an honor. Have you ever thought about it that way? Whenever I hear the phrase suffering for Christ, I think of the oppressed and persecuted Christians in Asia and the Middle East. That’s suffering. But being intimidated by a passive-aggressive bully and choosing not to strike back is suffering too. When you choose not to strike back and take the situation into your own hands and trust that God will take care of it, you’re doing that for the glory of God. You’re suffering for Christ.

And that is a privilege. Not everyone gets privileges. That’s why they’re called privileges. I know it doesn’t feel like a privilege when you’re being emotionally raked over the coals, but that’s because our perspective is skewed.

When a bully sets out to tear you down, remember that having the capability to love him or her in return is a gift that God has given you and a privilege you have. If you can look at the opportunity to be bullied as a privilege, you’ll respond to it differently.  You’ll respond to the bully differently.

Who knows why they are the way they are, but there’s always a root cause. People aren’t born bullies.

You’re going to face people who want their own way every day, and some of those people are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want, including trampling over you and anyone else. Stand your ground calmly and lovingly in the name of Christ. Don’t be intimidated in any way by those who would tear you down just so they can get what they want. Love them. Forgive them. But don’t give in to them.

Who knows? Maybe the day will come when they’ll ask you how you got so strong, and then you can tell them. You never know what having a Christ-like attitude will accomplish in your life or in the lives of others around you.

So stand firm. Don’t cower in the face of intimidation. The Big Bad Wolf will eventually run out of breath, and you can face him victoriously, still on your feet with your testimony intact.


I am a super overly protective friend. I also tend to be an overprotective sister and daughter. I just don’t do well at handling people who either hurt the people I love or say things about them that are hurtful. And many times, in seeking to protect the people I love, I have caused more problems than I have solved, generally because I go about it the wrong way.

Revenge is one of the most romanticized concepts in our culture. Taking vengeance for someone you love. Payback against the unfeeling machine of commercialism or the corporate world. It’s in almost every movie, exalted high on a pedastal that it should be the ultimate goal in any relationship, to hurt the ones who hurt you or to hurt the people who have hurt people you love.

It’s my first instinct to jump up and defend my loved ones immediately, regardless of what they have done or said that might have been hurtful. And when someone hurts someone I love, it’s my first response to jump in and hurt that person back. I mean, after all, there are a lot of ways to take revenge on people in today’s world. You don’t actually have to hurt anyone physically. There’s a marvelous little thing called Facebook with which you can verbally tear down someone’s reputation, especially if you have a gift with words.

But every time I am tempted to go after someone for hurting somebody I love, I usually get this nagging feeling in the back of my brain. Because it’s not my place.

And this is the verse God always uses to cool my overprotective temper off: 

Hebrews 10:30-31

30For we know the one who said, “I will take revenge. I will pay them back.” He also said, “The Lord will judge his own people.” 31 It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.


I’m sorry, but this is a terrifying verse.

It’s one thing to fear retribution from another person. But to be on the receiving end of retribution directly from God? Think about that.

What could I do to a person who has hurt me or someone I love? I could say mean things about them. I could lead a campaign to convince others to believe lies about them. I could hurt them physically. I could end his or her life. (I’m totally speaking metaphorically, you realize. The thought of me doing anything harmful to some other person is kind of laughable actually, no matter what they’ve done, seeing that I can’t even point fingers at people who deserve it most of the time.)

 But what could God do to someone? Gosh. I don’t even want to think about it.

Now I know someone would say that God is a God of love and He would never take revenge on anyone. Well, that’s true. God is absolute love. But the thing about Someone Who is absolute is that we who are not absolute can’t understand Someone Who is. God is also absolute wrath.

And, honestly, I don’t think that God has taken revenge yet. He will. We just won’t be here to see it.

But there’s a specific part of this verse I want to focus on.

“The Lord will judge His own people.”

Again. Terrifying. This isn’t talking to people who don’t believe. His people is us, those of us who believe in Christ and follow Him. Now is this verse saying that God will judge us and punish us and send us to hell?

No. If you believe in Christ, there is nothing you can do that will cause God to turn His back on you. But even God’s children do things that are wrong and need to be punished. And it’s up to God to judge for Himself.

The Amplified Version says, “The Lord will judge and determine and solve and settle the cause and the cases of His people.”

For those of us who are believers, God is watching us. God is paying attention to how we live our lives and how we treat others, and if we step out of line, you can know that He will judge how you are living and set you straight. Not in an eternal damnation sort of way, of course. We are already saved from that. But He may let you go through some things in your life to help you get your head on straight.

And for anyone who has been mistreated by a fellow Christian, you can believe that the God who is just is watching and won’t let His children get away with behavior that is unsuitable.

In either case, though, it isn’t our job to set things right. It’s not my job to jump in between God and one of His children to try to settle a problem in my own meager way. It’s not my job to jump between God and someone who needs to be chastized for their behavior. That’s neither my responsibility nor my right. How can I correct someone else when I’m just as guilty as they are?

In most circumstances, when someone hurts me or hurts someone I love, it is my job to sit back and pray and forgive that person and let God take care of it.